Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

So I get the chance to drive to work and ride home, SWEET! As soon as 6:00 comes we lock the doors and get changed into my riding gear, and I'm off like a prom dress. (note to self if it looks like rain its going to rain)
A little windy 10-12 mph, whitecaps on the lake as I ride past. Walkers and runners on the bike path, normal path congestion. I get passed after I slow down for on coming riders. No big deal I have 47 miles ahead and now isn't the time to get an ego.
We both get held up at a stoplight and I start up a conversation, he wants to get in at least 40 and hopes he can make it before it starts to rain. He ask how far I'm going, I tell him Janesville.
"Dude your going to get wet, and be in the dark" Ya it will be close.
We ride and talk for about 7 or 8 miles when its time for me to get off the trail, I'm looking for any short cut that I can find, This road heads south and the trail heads west, South is good, right?
Oops one big ass lake and a dead end after about 5 miles NOT GOOD!!
Back track to find a road that heads west Dam it (another note to self, if you don't know where the road goes don't take it).
OK so the short cut isn't a short cut, I take another chance and this time it pays off. Back on the commute route home. And did I say that it looked like rain? Over cast and windy. If not, now I have. I think the wrong turn was just about a wash and didn't loose time or add mileage to the ride. Anyway moving forward.
I think I'm making good time, with the head wind, its not going to bad. Left turn, right turn, up hill, down hill. Why is it when your on a road that has no shoulder you meet cars just as you are getting passed by one? You can go for miles and not be passed or meet a car but when you see the car in front you know that one is coming from behind.
So far the ride is going fairly smooth I'm eating and drinking, head down riding hard. I'm over half way home and I feel good. Cooksville about 20 miles to go.
So this is the part of the story where things start to go not so good. I've had my rear light flashing for the whole ride. As I stop to get my headlight out I find out that in my hurry to leave I forgot to grab it! Double Damn!! And yes its dark, windy and starting to RAIN!
Now remember the 2nd note to self? "If you don't know where the road goes DON'T TAKE IT"
Screw that I need to get home and the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. RIGHT? And its not like I don't know where the road goes "the wife" drove it and I kind of think I know that it goes through! So forget note #2. Besides I'm a guy and I know these things!
To add to the fun (lets see we have wind, rain and darkness) now we have lighting!
Triple Damn! Nothing to bad, just a little to let me know it was there, you know off in the distance, for now. So now I'm think get home as fast as possible straight line here I come.
Now the problem with this is that the road that it connects to is a major highway, the up side is that there is a "bike lane" on the highway the down side is ITS A F*&$ING HIGHWAY!
To bad I need to get home. Head down, Head wind and Head strong. (also see brain-dead)
So as I head down the road the lighting becomes a little more frequent, still off in the distance.
I guess I had about 6 or 7 miles of dark riding (no moon or stars). Then I see the cars crossing in front of me, yup it's the highway.
Now the rain is coming down a little harder, not to bad I'm not wearing glasses and I can still see. Traffic isn't to bad, happy for the bike lane and the flashing red tail light. And things look up a little the head wind has turned into a cross tailwind. 20 mph sweet. I think I was about 1 mile into this 7-8 mile leg on the highway when the brightest and loudest clap of thunder hit. I don't know how close it was but the flash and the bang were close to the same time. So I'm thinking to close for me. With no where to go and no place to hide Head down and ride harder. Nothing will get the blood going like a good scare. I haven't looked at my computer yet but I'm sure I was maxed on the heart rate for about 30 min. Didn't drink didn't look back just road as fast as I could till I could get off the highway.
Now once I'm off the highway I still have about 6 miles to get to the house. It's not to bad low area my thought are low area less chance of getting hit by lighting. So when I hit the county road I'm feeling good. I see cars coming from behind I pull over and let then go by, no need to take a chance. One mile till I'm in Janesville and as luck would have it a car comes up behind me just as another is meeting me. No place to pull off so I just hope they slow down and wait to pass. Sure enough they do, only after the oncoming car goes by they pull up beside me. ?$@& now I have to deal with some Drunk redneck, telling me I don't belong on the road and blah blah.....
But know nice people asking me if I want a ride "its very dark out and your hard to see would you like a ride?" "No thanks, I'm almost home".
10 min. later I'm home, wet, tired and hungry. Less the 3 hours to go a little over 47 miles.
Cant wait to do it again.
Only next time I'll be sure to take my light's
Peace and Grease!
Grump